Our Country, Governed by Soda Machine Politics

Most people start to learn the fundamentals of politics in the high school SGA. During "election season," invariably, a student will campaign on getting a soda machine installed in the cafeteria. Kids love soda. So campaigning on it is a sure win, right?

One problem: these candidates will never be able to deliver on their vision. They have no idea how they'll do it, if it's allowed, or question why a soda machine doesn't exist in the first place. And, credit to these (damn) kids, they usually end up voting for a much more solid candidate. The soda machine platform rarely wins.

What's unsettling is in real-world politics, we're voting in all of the soda machine candidates.

"I like soda, I'm voting for soda! Don't you dare tell me I can't have my Sprite."

Written on Sep 2nd, 2021